What if you meet person and you fell in love with from the first kiss? …
I’m not going to gibber about luxury in the material sense – this article isn’t about that. Today, time is your greatest luxury, and it will most probably be tomorrow. But only if you let it happen.
Not too long ago I started this greatly intimate discussion with myself about the lack of time in my life. I was panicking that there’s no time to do everything I have to do. And this isn’t the never-ending melody of a typical student – I worked without any signs of procrastination, I swear!
The following week I was overpowered by an existential crisis – what if I can’t find enough time to soak up all the adventures, experiences and sensations of life – while doing it all with love, too?! I can’t let that happen to me! After all, savoring every moment is the biggest happiness, joy and a great passion of mine. A bit later, on an evening calm as the sea before the storm, I realized that I felt a particular lack of time to do nothing at all. There’s no time left to be with myself.
We had a very frank conversation with one journalist I’ve met recently. “I’m telling you, honestly, there was a time when I debated on what to give preference to: doing make-up or shaving my legs”, – she said. We laughed, but any laugh is a great shelter for truth. On the other hand, though, there’s only truth and no place for laughter here – I’m afraid I’m going to find myself in a similar state soon. But this text isn’t about self-pity either. It is about the lack of time for your loved ones. Is time spent with the people you love becoming a luxury? You can’t be serious!
That weekend everyone was in the comfort of their parents’ homes, while I was running in circles around Vilnius because I’d planned to sleep a bit (enough only not to die) and – once again – work work work. “Mom’s birthday, mom’s birthday…” – the combination of words ran through my head on that Saturday evening. I need to go. But how? Short on cash, time not being a surplus commodity either… There’s no time for mom? Am I kidding myself now?!
They say that the only thing that can stop you when you’re racing through life like crazy is health. Well, the expiration date of mine is coming to an end as well, but this time it wasn’t health that turned out to be my stop sign. The mere thought of not paying enough time and attention to the person who thinks of me a million times a day, who cuddles me in the worst times, as well as the best times, and who cares for me probably more than my guardian angel himself… That thought was unbearable.
“Mom, don’t call me when I’m working”, “Mom, I’m tired, let’s talk another time”, “Mooooom, stop disturbing me”… And where’s the I love you, I miss you, how are you? , and you’re the most important person in my world? Shame on me.
On that special Sunday a friend decided to come and rescue my ass (that was already perfectly wallowing in shame) by taking me to my hometown. YES. Truth be told, this savior was a new acquaintance who was rushing to his dad’s birthday himself, but had found the time to cheer my mom up as well. Which is a rare thing in these times of eternally busy people.
So we got some flowers and hurried to my hometown. Surprising my mom and making her happy – check. Hurray! But nonetheless I am still angry with myself. A few minutes of surprise-invoked joy will never compensate for the scarcity of time I devote to the most important woman in my life.
Mom, I am so sorry. I will try harder. My life without you is nothing. And I love you more than anything else in this world.
Sometimes the time you make for yourself may become a luxury. But the time devoted to your loved ones never should. And chances are that if you’re feeling so overwhelmed by your life that there’s no time left for the people you cherish most, it’s a sign that it’s about time you hop out of this vicious circle.
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